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Dating After 36 Years of Marriage

"I said, it looks like you may be getting the girl, just like your boy Cagney. Stomper winked at me confidently believing he was beating the odds." (Look Back Move Forward, p. 150)

Valerie and her husband

I remember what dating was like before marriage and the anxiety over what to wear, lip-gloss flavor, hair style, where to go and what to talk about. Those concerns were just the tip of the iceberg. Then, finally the right man came along and we were married. For seven years it was just us; going out to dinner during the week, going away for the weekend, our only concern was ourselves. After seven years, we were blessed with our first son, and eight years after that our second. As parents, our conversations revolved around the boys and their play-dates, t-ball games, football practice, karate, music lessons, recitals and concerts, tennis matches, homework and other parents. Seldom did we experience that silent pause when together, probably because we weren't a couple, but a foursome.

Someone once told me, "Enjoy them when their young, because before you know it, they'll be men." No truer words were ever spoken, and I did enjoy every minute of it. I chaperoned trips, volunteered at school, and worked around their school schedules. My husband and I did our jobs and raised two caring, intelligent and independent men. One left the nest and one is about to leave. My husband and I went full circle and are now once again dating- each other. On Saturday night, we go for a nice dinner and have the house to ourselves when we get home. Needless to say, the date doesn't end there. We are connecting again as a couple, and I'm enjoying it. We are older and have more going on in our lives; I'm an author, designed this website and am taking risks trying new things. He still puts in way too many hours at the office, but shares with me his day. We are once again focused on each other, but still discuss the boys. Just like the heart is at the center of our existence, pumping life into our body, our sons will always be the center of our lives.